At Night...

Notoriously difficult is the writing process. Developing ideas for stories though, it can come quite effortlessly. I have about a dozen ideas for short stories and novels that are sitting on my Google Drive just waiting to be interpreted, re-written, analyzed and expounded. Time is not always at hand, though, and I find myself writing at night when I usually have a more creative mindset.

The night fuels my imagination. Probably because of its inherent connection to dreams. To the unknown. To fear. All these factors grant me the possibility of creating something fantastic.  Fascinating and even overwhelming, I find. And when I sit there at the table long enough, the words flood my pages.

Creating anything, comes with sacrifice.  Time, sleep, relationships…something must be relinquished to touch unreality properly.  At night, usually the most I sacrifice is time and sleep. I have no willingness to sacrifice my relationships anymore.  It’s not something I would do, anymore.

Scratching Its Way Out

I've been working on a few short stories, hunting and pecking in my head, piecing them out inch by inch. It's great to see how much I've grown, writing. I've also been doing some Critter critiques on Critters.org.  This has helped the most because I can see just how much other writers struggle with how to express themselves. How to push out a head full of dreams on paper is a daunting errand. Some won't make it to the finish, but I intend to overcome all obstacles.

I think that immersing myself in my loves and joys has given me so much hope! My wonderful wife, lovely and sometimes frustrating children and various horror and sci-fi stories that I'm reading lend so much to my progress. I'm glad of that, for sure, as the days are dreary without them.

These short stories may be nothing. So what. Who cares if they don't hit the mark of commercial success? All I know is that I have to write them. That's all that I feel, the need to create, scratching its way out of my mind.

LIBERATION!

There is hope. There is always hope to become greater and better than one is; to move beyond what you have been to what you can be.

If any of you have ever watched the NBC comedy, “Community”, you may have seen the black guy named Troy. His real name is Donald Glover, and I think he has single handedly restored my faith in my abilities as an artist.

One of my friends (GC lePresh) had me check out someone called “Childish Gambino” and to tell me what I thought about him. Lo and behold, it was Donald Glover’s rapper persona. Seems this guy has been rapping for a few years now, apparently just for fun. What’s even more interesting is that he doesn’t even need the money. He just does it because he wants to; because it makes him happy. He has about 3 EPs (one actually named, “EP”) and 3 albums under the Childish Gambino moniker. He also produces beats under the name mcDJ. One of the albums he produced is called “Sick Boi”, in which is raps sounding congested or like he has a cold. How refreshing is that? Who does that? Even more amazing he made it sound dope.

His creativity is what amazes me most. I think I have been stifled so much that I was reaching to be like someone else. Glover is not trying to be anyone, as I see it. It’s more like he is experimenting with what he thinks is cool. He's experimenting with himself. I can really relate to that. And yesterday, as I sat and thought about who Donald was and what he’s done, I again began to believe that I have an ambition that urges to burst forth.

I was trying to paint something to look like him or so and so, and not really expressing the full scope of my creativity. I sat at my easel yesterday tentatively painting and struggling through my newest creation, and I it suddenly became apparent that I was the one in control of the piece. At once I understood that every stroke was completely my own and no one can say that they have done what I did. The work belonged to ME and ONLY ME. In that moment tears welled up in my eyes, and I wept uncontrollably. It was like I had been in a darkened room and someone flipped the light switch on. Such an overwhelming emotion it was, that I stop working and thank God for his insight and love.

Childish Gambino. His free spirit freed my own. I need to thank this dude somehow. I am self-realized and liberated. Now and until I die.