The Bird Revelation (Spoiler Alert)

Mark 8:36 King James Version (KJV)

36 For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?

I hope everyone had a good holiday. It was quite relaxing for me, and I spent a lot of time with the fam at home playing video games, watching movies and just enjoying my wife.

Now, my wife and I like to watch movies together, usually we can agree on some rom-com or mildy violent drama. This particular night, we ended up watching the final two Dave Chappelle specials on Netflix: Equanimity and The Bird Revelation. Initially I thought that both names described one special, but it was actually two different venues, with The Bird Revelation being filmed in secret at The Comedy Store in LA.

Now, Dave is hilarious. Both specials hit home with topics that we grappled with throughout 2017, like Trump, the me-too sexual misconduct allegations and trans-sexuals. Dave is unapologetic, but he does offer his sympathies about how he makes people feel about what he says. Good stuff, you should really check it out when you have time.

That being said, I want to discuss The Bird Revelation for a moment. Dave is very candid here towards the end of the special and paints this somewhat cryptic analogy using the last few bits of the book "Pimp" by Iceberg Slim (I need to read this, but I already got it locked in on my Hoopla app). I say somewhat cryptic because once he lays down the last line of the special, you should know what he meant by the whole thing. You should get the analogy.

So, spoiler alert. If you plan on watching it, come back and read this later.

You good? Ok. So, Dave talks about the term, "mileage on a ho". In street terms, this means how much a hooker can turn tricks before she officially goes crazy. Too much mileage means the ho will end up being useless to herself or anyone else. Anyway, Iceberg Slim is about to let his Bottom Bitch (his best and most profitable ho) go because she's at the end of her mileage. But, he convinces her to turn one last trick. This last trick has her drugging a client and stealing a briefcase of money.

Now, in the midst of it, the deed is done but the client ends up overdosing. The chick calls Iceberg to tell him she needs help. Doesn't know what to do. Iceberg says he'll help her, but lets her know that he has no part in it because she's the one that gave him the drugs. still, he'll help her get out of it. He calls one of his contacts to get the body out. Pays him from the case of money. Pays a doctor, too.

But, after all of that, he tells her that she owes him. That she will need to work off that money he just spent to get her out of trouble. Even knowing she's at the end of her rope, she ends up tricking for him for a few more months.

And he says that's why he went to Africa. Do you get it now? Once he said that I was immediately hit with an "AHA!" I just stared for a second like I'd been hit with the greatest revelation ever. It was just so on point. Basically, Dave said that he realized that Comedy Central was trying to pimp him. He was their "Bottom Bitch". Even though they knew he couldn't do that damn show forever, they tried to game him by throwing a bunch of money at him. But all that would do is make him compromise himself in a way that he was not willing. Not only was it insulting to him, but it shook him to his core in a way that he really needed to get away and think about his life and what he wanted.

Dave is really good at what he does. Really damn good. Probably the greatest comedian ever. But he wasn't going to be pimped. And I get that. What's really sad is that most of these Hollywood types don't even know they're being pimped.  But Hollywood is the greatest hustler there ever was, and most don't know the difference between freedom or chains.

Being good at what you do means calling your own shots and knowing when enough is enough. And Dave knew it was over.

Ask yourself, what do you do in your life that makes you compromise yourself in a way that causes you stress? Do you go on with a job that grates on your soul just so you can get a paycheck? Recently one of my good friends decided he had worked his pointless gig enough and he needed to go back to school. But I knew that he'd had enough way before then. I knew he'd gotten all he could out of that job and it would do nothing for him anymore. It was time to go. I knew that years ago. I just wish he had known. But everyone gets their wake up call when they need it, I suppose.

God's wisdom will guide those that are open to it.

A Wonderful Day

Got up this morning, thinking, that death, the inescapable monolith of the unknown, could be but a hair's width away from me.  It looms, unpredictably swaying, casting various shadows that lend to misdirected ideas and unhurried dreams.

Today, though, is likely not my day. 

However, I think we as human beings, suffer from the idea that we have enough time.  That time is actually on our side. That we might make it all count for something before the final curtain closes on that last scene, the audience gripped in awe and anticipation for the climax. But no one sees the bow. We never hear the applause.

We want it all, don't we? The big high-five and the gold medal.  The fame. The money. The fucking cheers. 

Pushing the covers away, I slide out of bed.  My wife is still sleeping, worn out from our baby girl's night calls.  As if on cue, I hear her through the baby monitor. On the screen I see she's tossing her head, lightly, side to side, before she succumbs to rest again. Thirteen pounds of beautiful.

I wonder if my wife feels the pains of her years as I do? I wonder if she thinks of life getting better and better? What if we each don't realize our greatest ambitions?

Questions for another time I suppose. 

My feet on the floor already, I stand up, and I hear the pops in my knees before I feel them. It's gonna be a wonderful day.

Self: Realized

"Self-realization is an expression used in psychology, spirituality and Eastern religions. The basic premise of self-realization is that there exists an authentic self which has to be discovered by psychological or spiritual self-striving. Self-realization can be a gradual or instantaneous phenomena depending on the school of thought but in all cases it involves extensive preparation of mind and emotions to recognize self-realization when it occurs. 

Self-realization is a maturing of the ego or personality to accept its own evanescence and thus allow space for the true Self to reveal itself. The moon veiled by clouds is an apt metaphor for the Self's apparent absence in our everyday lives. The dissolution of the ego's obsessive, internal pre-occupations with its psycho-somatic complexes frees the psyche's energy to directly experience Reality of the world as it is, free of any assumptions." 

What do you really know about yourself?  To be perfectly honest, most of us live sedentary lives that don't allow for much physical or mental strain.  Life is actually easy when you think about it.  We aren't threatened with physical harm, most of us aren't starving (especially U.S. citizens, where most of us are overweight) and there isn't much desire to push beyond what we experience on a daily basis.  We are content with our homes and families, poor health and improper diets.  We are at ease with sub-par education, lackluster dreams, ironic reality shows, conceited, self-gratifying social icons and money hoarding corporations to the point that we can't see how negatively they affect us.  On and on, we plod through life, sadly apathetic to what is surrounding us.  We are accepting misery.

There was a time when people were aware of what was at stake.  We took a stand for family, friends and God.  All people, not just the so-called Black people (a misnomer still, that I will always shun).  Our neighborhoods were solid, and we looked out for one another.  Now, we seem to mistrust ourselves and live is fear of each other.  We prey on each other, robbing, hurting, even killing those that are in the same predicament.  Then, we say we want better, but only show our worst sides.  Truly, it is like we don't want to be more, it is like we accept that we can only be less.  The government herds us into "projects" as to keep us from those parts of the city that are reserved for the more educated, privileged individuals.  How can one ignore this?  Is it just in the mind of an individual to resign to defeat, simply because of his situation?

I am saddened.  Today I see myself returning to the best of who I am, reclaiming my mind and body from the  edge of insanity.  To do this, my spirit speaks to my soul and they cooperate, unified, to work towards this goal.  It has been a long time since I've been so clear in my thoughts, but being self-realized grants this attribute.  I cannot go back; will not go back.  In 2001, I achieved this state prematurely, only to lose it in my immaturity and confusion.  This time, I will follow this path to the end.  I will speak up for those who have no voice.  I will show that injustice exists.  I will maintain healthy balance.  I will show others how to come into themselves and overcome.

Have you done your best?  Tried your best?  Even if it is not your best, have you tried at all?  What do you think you are? Who do you think you are?  These questions need to be answered.  I encourage you to find out.

God sings, and I hear Him.  I hear Him.  There is nothing like this feeling.

LIBERATION!

There is hope. There is always hope to become greater and better than one is; to move beyond what you have been to what you can be.

If any of you have ever watched the NBC comedy, “Community”, you may have seen the black guy named Troy. His real name is Donald Glover, and I think he has single handedly restored my faith in my abilities as an artist.

One of my friends (GC lePresh) had me check out someone called “Childish Gambino” and to tell me what I thought about him. Lo and behold, it was Donald Glover’s rapper persona. Seems this guy has been rapping for a few years now, apparently just for fun. What’s even more interesting is that he doesn’t even need the money. He just does it because he wants to; because it makes him happy. He has about 3 EPs (one actually named, “EP”) and 3 albums under the Childish Gambino moniker. He also produces beats under the name mcDJ. One of the albums he produced is called “Sick Boi”, in which is raps sounding congested or like he has a cold. How refreshing is that? Who does that? Even more amazing he made it sound dope.

His creativity is what amazes me most. I think I have been stifled so much that I was reaching to be like someone else. Glover is not trying to be anyone, as I see it. It’s more like he is experimenting with what he thinks is cool. He's experimenting with himself. I can really relate to that. And yesterday, as I sat and thought about who Donald was and what he’s done, I again began to believe that I have an ambition that urges to burst forth.

I was trying to paint something to look like him or so and so, and not really expressing the full scope of my creativity. I sat at my easel yesterday tentatively painting and struggling through my newest creation, and I it suddenly became apparent that I was the one in control of the piece. At once I understood that every stroke was completely my own and no one can say that they have done what I did. The work belonged to ME and ONLY ME. In that moment tears welled up in my eyes, and I wept uncontrollably. It was like I had been in a darkened room and someone flipped the light switch on. Such an overwhelming emotion it was, that I stop working and thank God for his insight and love.

Childish Gambino. His free spirit freed my own. I need to thank this dude somehow. I am self-realized and liberated. Now and until I die.